Kink-Aware Coaching & Counselling for LGBTQ+ and kinky adults.
Help for your life and metal health that understands, accepts and values your identity and lifestyle.
We specialise in kink-aware, LGBTQ+ affirming coaching and counselling. Support that understands who you are, how you live, and what you need.
Counselling
Life and Executive Coaching
Hypnotherapy
EMDR
Education and Community Building
for LGBTQ+ and kinky people.
Non-judgemental, professional, accredited, confidential, shame-free.
All sessions are kink-aware, LGBTQ+ affirming and delivered online or in-person in Greater Manchester.
Working together for you to overcome your challenges, achieve success, and feel more fully integrated in your work, relationships and leisure time.
Our services
We believe that everyone deserves the best chance to live a good life, whoever you are, and whatever you're into. We specialise in working with kinky and LGBTQ+ people. We offer kink-aware, LGBTQ+ - affirming coaching, counselling, hypnotherapy, EMDR and other services.
Most mainstream support doesn't fully understand kink, fetish or non-normative sexualities.
We believe that you should be able to access services without feeling shame or judgement. As members of the kink, fetish and LGBTQ+ communities, you can discuss all aspects of yourself and your life (that you wish to) openly. You do not have to hide anything. We are active in the community, and we get it.
Our view is that you are unique. To us, this means that we all have different needs and we think that approaches should match them.
This is what sets us apart from other providers. We do not just use one methodology or program. We have multiple methods that we are trained in and we can draw upon. This means that when we work with you, we listen. We then tailor our support with you, to suit your specific needs. This means that you get the best possible chance of success, whatever your challenge, in a way that works for you.
We offer this with an overriding belief that you should be able to express who you are and what you like without shame, judgement or fear. After all, we've held ourselves back from getting help in our lives because we felt that others didn't understand us. We pledge never to make you feel like you can't get the help you need, whatever your challenges.
Coaching
International Coach Federation PCC accredited kink-aware life- and executive- coaching for LGBTQ+ and kinky people.
Hundreds of hours of experience. Over 100 clients from all works of life. Helping people overcome challenges from relationships to leadership.
Creating a safe space for you to explore your challenges, values, needs, options, goals and to plan for success.
Counselling
British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy accredited kink-aware counselling and therapy for LGBTQ+ and kinky people.
Helping people of all walks of life with mental health challenges from anxiety to overcoming trauma and abuse.
A listening ear, an empathetic space and a place to explore who you are, your story, and what you want to be.
Hypnotherapy
British Society of Clinical Hypnosis registered kink-aware hypnotherapy and EMDR for LGBTQ+ and kinky people.
Experienced with helping people overcome challenges using the power of the mind.
Challenges successfully overcome include confidence building, healthy eating, improving exercise, anxiety and sexual problems, plus past traumas.
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Combining deep listening, relaxation, metaphor and suggestion to help.
Learning & Community
Explore a wide range of opportunities to learn, grow, connect, and become more skilful, successful and integrated.
Discover pre-recorded content, life online training and in-person workshops.
Learn about resources such as ebook, webinars, podcasts and more.
Find opportunities to connect with members of the LGBT+ and kink communities.
We've created free resources especially for LGBTQ+ and kinky people looking for kink-aware support.
This website is full of free goodies to help you have a better, more integrated life.
Click here to access them all.
Download a set of worksheets, Breaking the Chains of Insecurity which will help you to overcome challenges in social settings.
Download Matthew's ebook, Mastering Life, to learn about yourself and how to live a more fulfilled life.
Check out the webinar series, Mastering Life Shorts, and other online presentations, to learn about different concepts that will help you in life and in your work.
Download the first two sessions of the online course, Kink Skills in the Workplace for free to discover how you can use the concepts and ideas from BDSM in your job... without getting in trouble with HR!
Download a free hypnotherapy file to help you relax and gain confidence.
Not sure whether you need coaching, counselling or hypnotherapy?
Explore the website to learn more, or just drop us a line and we'll help you out.
Meet us
Hi there! We are Matthew and Paul. We both use the pronouns he/him. We met through a dating app while we were both on holiday in Gran Canaria. Initially, our relationship was a long distance Dom/sub one, with Matthew living in Thailand and Paul in the UK. During the COVID pandemic, we locked down together and our relationship blossomed. We married in October 2024.
Over the years, we have supported each other's growth as people and as kinksters. While Matthew built his coaching and content businesses, Paul has always been in the background, helping Matthew to plan and with marketing and other activities.
Matthew meanwhile has supported Paul to gain his counselling qualifications and helped Paul navigate the world of accreditation.
We've appeared on a number of podcasts and regularly give talks together and separately. We coordinate the Masterclasses at Darklands in Belgium and are passionate about offering LGBTQ+ and kinky people a safe space to learn, grow and be themselves. Together, we offer kink-aware counselling, coaching, hypnotherapy and EMDR online and from our discrete office in Greater Manchester.
Learn more about us below.
Matthew
Hi, I'm Matthew (sometimes known as English Leather Master or ELM). I'm an ICF (International Coach Federation) PCC accredited life- and executive- coach and a BSCH (British Society of Clinical Hypnosis) registered hypnotherapist. I also train people in coaching and hypnosis and use EMDR to help people overcome trauma.
I work extensively with LGBTQ+ and kinky people the world over to help them have better lives. I'm passionate about helping people use the skills they have within themselves to improve their chance of success and happiness in all aspects of their lives.
I use my education background to run a wide variety of workshops and classes. I've taught at the Recon Masterclasses (London, UK), CLAW (Cleveland, OH, USA), Darklands (Antwerp, Belgium), KinkFest (Birmingham, UK), DatingKinky (Online) and many more. Subjects have included hypnosis, shame and pain play.
As well as my coaching and hypnotherapy business, I make explicit content, so Googling my name with safe search off can lead to some "interesting" results. But I'm proud of what I do and the business I've built from scratch.
My career started with teaching kids science and led to me working across Asia and Europe training, selling and developing products for the international educational assessment market. In total, I've worked in 13 countries and had a positive impact on the lives of hundreds of thousands of people through the work I did.
Paul
Hi I'm Paul, otherwise known as ELM's Sub.
I'm a BACP registered Counsellor offering kink-aware counselling and therapy to people in the LGBTQ+ and kink world to overcome issues that are stopping them live the lives they want to live.
While Matthew is the extrovert and quick to act, I'm the shy introvert who is cautious and risk-averse. I know what it's like to be bullied, to be put down. My inner critic is NOISY. I'm undergoing assessment to see if I've got ADHD, so I know what it's like to feel like you've got 15 tabs open in your brain and you can't remember why you walked into a room.
My story includes the corporate world, online social media marketing, and finally finding my home in offering therapy. Mental health struggles are close to my heart, in ways that would be inappropriate to explain here. But suffice to say, I know how much some people hurt and what can happen if people aren't given the help they need.
My clients have included people with anxiety, recovering from trauma, stuck in toxic relationships, domestic abuse and more.
Outside the therapy room, as well as BDSM, I'm also an avid gym goer and Kylie Minogue's biggest fan. Finally, I'm addicted to booking holidays and Matthew tells me I spend far too much time obsessing over which flights to get for our next trip!
Frequently Asked Questions
What do you mean by kink-aware therapy?
Put simply, we know what kink is. We know the difference between consensual fun between adults and abusive or damaging relationships.
You won't have to explain what you're into (or why) - we've heard it all before.
Do you only work with LGBTQ+ people?
No. We've both had many clients who are straight. We love working with everyone, whatever you identify as and whoever you love or play with. So whether you're monogamous, open or polyamourous, gay, straight, bi or queer, cis or trans, kinky or vanila, you're welcome here.
What's the difference between coaching and counselling?
There's a lot of detail on the different modalities we offer on this website, but essentially counselling looks at your thoughts, feelings and behaviours and helps you move forward. It often looks back into the past at what happened to you, and helps you to heal. Coaching doesn't really care much about the past - it asks where you are and where you want to be. We don't tend to talk about childhood traumas in coaching, as an example.
Is BDSM something I can talk to my therapist about?
You should be able to. Most therapists or coaches should be totally non-judgemental and open to all types of lifstyle. However, some don't get it, some won't know about kink and some will be misinformed. You can be sure that ConsciouslyKinky help is totally non-judgemental and informed. We haven't just done a quick course on kink - it's part of our lifestyle.
How do I find a kink-aware coach or counsellor?
Make sure you ask questions. Googling 'kink-aware therapy' or 'kink-aware coaching' is a start, but find out their experience. Any coach or counsellor worth their salt will be happy to meet you before you commit to a contract. Ask them questions about their understanding and how they work with kinky or LGBTQ+ people.
What happens if you're straight and want kink-aware support?
You've found the right place! We don't care who you play with (as long as it's consenting adults). We just care that you can bring the whole of yourself to the table. And we work hard to make sure you feel seen, understood, and helped.
Let's talk
Think coaching may be useful? Or want to know more about how it works?
Ready to make a change with hypnotherapy? Or interested, but have questions?
Want to learn more about counselling and how it could help you?
If you're looking for a kink-aware therapist or coach, we'd love to hear from you.
Let's talk.
Use the form below to contact us to arrange a free 'Experience Coaching' session or a chat about hypnotherapy, EMDR or counselling. We attempt to reply within 48 hours. Please be sure to also check your spam folder if you have not seen a reply.
Did you know?
We both work across the world online or in-person in our comfortable, private, discreetly branded office in Greater Manchester UK.
Contact Me
English Leather Master Coaching